Protect kids cyber activity
Philosophy on parents establishing open and honest communication
Lauren: Our theme for the month of May at The Bean Spot is Trust and Honesty. I have the pleasure of speaking with Fareedah Shah, also known as Cyber Fareedah. Fareedah is an award winning Forbes ‘30 Under 30,’ online safety educator, which means she helps parents protect their kids online, holistically.
Fareedah, my first question for you is, what's your overall philosophy on parents establishing open and honest communication regarding their child's cyber life and cyber activity?
Fareedah: I help parents protect their kids online, holistically. What I mean by that is giving kids the freedom they want, and the safety they need, and that comes from building a foundation of connection, communication and trust.
Lauren: I love what you say about balancing freedom and safety. It’s not about taking the tech completely away, but being open about their usage.
Fareedah: Yes, I mean, you can delay their usage, yet, it doesn't mean that they're not going to be exposed to it. Instead, we want to give them the foundation to protect themselves so when they do go online, they have a basic understanding of your values as a family.
Lauren: Can you define what you mean by a holistic view?
Fareedah: Absolutely. So, it is not just looking at the tech. When we think about protecting kids online, a lot of us jump to parental controls or parental monitoring. When I say holistic, I mean, you're prioritizing your own inner feelings first. You can't give your kids the space they need, and the understanding of the world that they need, without understanding what it means to love yourself, and giving yourself a safe space.
When kids understand what it really means to hold space for themselves, they can then understand how to hold space for other people. This also helps your kids understand wellness and data ethics. For kids who understand that, they're going to do super well in their world once they get older, because tech is not going away.
Lauren: Wow! I didn't think how much of an overlap there would be between the work that Yogi Beans does and the work that you do. A big part of our methodology is that we go beyond the pose. We are teaching practical life skills with a focus on character building, and values such as self-love, self-confidence, and self-worthiness. It makes sense that if you feel good about yourself and you love yourself, your cyber activity is going to be healthier too. You’re not going to want to bully people; you'll know when something doesn't feel good to you.
Can mindfulness help cyber activity?
Fareedah: Oh, yes, absolutely. The more we're mindful about our activities online, the easier it is for us to protect ourselves and our kids. The simple act of thinking before you're sharing information and checking in with our feelings; asking how is that going to affect me or other people before I click. Is this something that I really want to do? Am I posting this because I feel the need to or because I have to keep up with my friends and society. Or am I posting this because I truly want this information out? There is this big boom of wanting to become an influencer. So sitting down with your kids and saying being an influencer is perfectly is great. However, what do you want to do with that influence? What are you trying to gain from it? What was the impact that you want to make? So you're being really mindful of every step that you take online and pausing before you post.
Lauren: Before you react, pausing before you press that post button is very important. Do you have a favorite mindfulness practice to develop safe and healthy cyber activity?
Fareedah: It's going to sound very simple, yet, I believe that you and your community would understand. I always say pausing and breathing and checking in with yourself and your emotions helps you prevent yourself from becoming victims of scams, and victims of grooming.
I also believe the practice of healing yourself and going through an emotional journey to heal your inner wounds, breathing, and taking time to slow down, all supports healthy cyber activity. Everything is connected, all of our energies. When we're teaching kids how to operate in the online space, we are teaching about consent, and that goes into privacy, which then goes into safety. Another thing to consider is, as adults, are we thinking about the consensual posting of our kids, and what stories we tell people online? Are we making sure that our children are aware that we are opening up private moments in our household. You might be telling your child not to do one thing; yet, then you violate their privacy and their autonomy by doing other things.
Lauren: Right, that definitely ties in to trust and honesty and openness. What you said about emotional posting really resonates. Even as adults, we may post something, and then we delete it, thinking why did I do that? Tying healthy cyber habits into our emotional state makes so much sense.
Fareedah: Absolutely. We post a lot of information about ourselves, so yes!
Lauren: How can teachers incorporate the idea of healthy cyber activity into their classes?
Fareedah: By talking about it. Having open conversations and talking about their personal experiences, and having it be a discussion. Listening to the kids is really important. Sometimes we can forget that the people that we're trying to impact - their opinions of the impact matters. This helps us evolve and have better and more elevated conversations. When you're being listened to as a human being, you're more open.
Lauren: Absolutely. We need to listen to what our children or students are saying. When we feel seen and heard we are more inclined to be honest because we feel our opinions are valued.
We are especially seeing the effects that cyber activity has on children’s mental health. On a societal level, where are we at with having open and honest communication with children about their cyber life and activity?
Fareedah: We're getting better at it. I believe over the years we've realized that children's voices matter. The access children have to the internet provides a certain freedom. If you really want to know what kids are thinking about, rest assured there is a forum or a chat room you can find information. The internet has good, bad, ugly and beautiful sides to it. To understand what children are feeling we need to make room to search for the information.
Lauren: What would happen if we don't develop open and honest communication with our children about their cyber usage?
Fareedah: Well, in one word: disaster. It's not going to be pretty because we're going to start becoming more controlling and control does not does not give us the results we want. When you try to control people, even if the control is coming from a well-intentioned place, it's never going to work. This is why I'm so such an advocate for the holistic view of safety and security and starting from within.
Lauren: Can you speak to that balance between communication and privacy and your child’s cyber usage?
Fareedah: I am actively working to change my mind about balance. What I’ve found is every time I talk about balance it turns into a lot of Type A control in terms of, we did 60% here, so we have to be 40% here, etc. The way that I love to teach is by removing balance all together, and changing your perspective to think about it as harmony. How can I harmonize communication, and privacy? Thinking about what works best for me and my child, in this moment, and not feeling guilty that it may change day-to-day or month-to-month or year-to-year based off of what they have told me or the information I know about them. Parent and child are both human beings and both flowing through this space; they need what is best for each of them in certain moments so it really is just about finding that balance.
Lauren: That makes a lot of sense. There's a synergy between those two words. I can see how balance may make you feel things have to be equal, which can turn into rigidness. I like the use of Harmony!
Fareedah: I've seen it work better in terms of changing the mindset about cyber usage. There's not a lot of guilt and questioning if this working and then if it's not, we change it around.
Lauren: Ah, external versus internal. Yes, I think that is very helpful to think about. Is there anything else you would like to share about honesty and communication with regards to children's cyber activity?
Fareedah: I think what we talked about is a setting up great foundation. Going back to the holistic viewpoint, people have to invest in making time to heal themselves and it could be something as simple and as powerful as yoga and breath work, or picking up a book. One of the books I really love, it just came to my head, is called The Body Keeps Score.
Lauren: Yes! By Bessel Vander Kolk. That book was eye opening and I spoke about that book for so long and recommended it to everyone I spoke with!
Fareedah: I mean, it's so good, right? So, giving your kids and yourself that understanding. When you start seeing things online you can think, “oh, this person does not have self-worthiness or self- love.” You would never comment that way if that self-love was present within you. It's understanding those things as the first step. So, I would love to leave with that.
Lauren: It's doing the inner work, whether it's through reading or meditation, whatever it is. But doing that inner work first will permeate to how you handle yourself online.
Fareedah: Exactly
Lauren: So much of what you said holds a synergy with the work we do and I wasn't necessarily expecting that. I'm so happy I reached out to speak! Can you just tell people where they can find you and if you have any trainings coming up?
Fareedah: I’m @cyberfareedah on all platforms. I have daily videos on YouTube where I talk a lot about holistic online safety. I also delve deep into certain topics about what it really means to protect kids on gaming sites. Actually, my most viewed video so far is the one I did on Roblox.
Lauren: Yes. I watched that one because Roblox is a thing in our house! Fareedah, Thank you so much for speaking to me. I’ve learned a lot and the work you are doing to protect our kids and educate parents on healthy cyber usage is so important!
Bridge to empathy
The world feels more divisive than ever before. Perhaps it’s partly because...
I want to start off by saying I don’t have the answer for this. It’s something I think about and struggle with so I thought I'd share here on The Bean Spot.
The world feels more divisive than ever before. Perhaps it’s partly because we have access to everyone’s thoughts and opinions via social media and the internet. When I see someone post something that I steadfastly disagree with (eg: Something political or socially driven) my first response is to get angry and call that person some cruel name and remind myself how ignorant and stupid they are and how much better I am than them. It’s really hard for me to let anything other than that in my purview. I have a hard time making space or empathizing with how they came to their decision.
These feelings of superiority and hate are not ones I wish to foster, however, it’s really hard for me to empathize or find compassion for people when I feel their opinions are wrong and steeped in hate and ignorance. When I find myself feeling this way, I remember an Anthony Bourdain quote I once read.
“There is something humanizing about putting aside differences, if only for a moment, to discuss how good biscuits taste.”
He spoke about forming a bond with people who share widely different values because they were able to find commonalities in enjoying food and drink. This is something I strive to work on because I know in order for society to move toward betterment, love, unity and fairness we need to be able to sit with those whose opinions differ and try to find a bridge where empathy can cross.
For the past 2 years our children have gone to school wearing masks. Wherever you stand on the debate of if masks should or should not be worn we are now at a crossroads where mask guidelines have changed and many children will soon be allowed to go to school mask-free.
As a mother I am hopefully optimistic and look forward to my kids going returning to a sense of normalcy at school. However, at the same time I know there are going to be children that continue to wear their masks and it’s my responsibility as a parent to remind my daughters that we don’t judge anyone for this specific choice. I’ve been speaking with them about not judging other students for their choice and understanding makes their own choices based on their comfort level and what works for them.
Impact of COVID-19 on children
Children and young people could feel the impact of COVID-19 on their mental health
Impact of COVID-19 on poor mental health in children and young people ‘tip of the iceberg’
Children and young people could feel the impact of COVID-19 on their mental health and well-being for many years to come, UNICEF warned in its flagship report today.
According to The State of the World’s Children 2021; On My Mind: promoting, protecting and caring for children’s mental health – UNICEF’s most comprehensive look at the mental health of children, adolescents and caregivers in the 21st century – even before COVID-19, children and young people carried the burden of mental health conditions without significant investment in addressing them.
Read Full Article, UNICEF
Perspective leads to empathy
Foster empathy by teaching to see situations from other peoples’ perspectives
One practice towards fostering empathy in my students and my own children is to encourage them to see situations from other peoples’ perspectives. Even if something has not happened to them directly I want them to understand that it still matters. One way I try to teach this is by using a story and asking them to see the story from the other person’s perspective.
My favorite example is the story of Goldilocks and the 3 bears. This classic story is told from Goldilocks point of view, however, what if ask children to consider how the Bears felt about someone coming into their home uninvited, eating their breakfast, breaking their chairs and sleeping in their beds! Looking at the story from this angle we find more empathy for the Bears because we can relate to what it would be like if someone did that in our home.
The same approach can be used when we are talking with children about real world circumstances that may not directly affect them, yet, we want them to cultivate a feeling of empathy towards those that are touched by a certain situation. Recently both my daughters had birthdays and we spoke about donating a gift to an organization called Birthday Wishes. Birthday Wishes collects gifts and toys and then distributes them to children who may not otherwise have a birthday celebration. For many young children giving away a toy they just received is not an easy ask and this is understandable. However, if we can tell them the story from the other child’s point of view (eg: “can you imagine what it would feel like to not have a birthday celebration and not receive any presents) we can open up a dialogue and hopefully create more empathy and understanding for the other person’’s circumstance.
Exercise benefits for children
Even light physical activity among adolescents was linked to better mental health
Even light physical activity among adolescents was linked to better mental health as they got older, new research shows.
Recent research on the link between physical activity and depression risk in adults has suggested that exercise may offset the genetic tendency toward depression. Adults with genetic risks who exercised regularly were no more likely to develop depression than those without the genetic propensity.
Read Full Article, New York Times
Laying the foundation for empathy
Empathy - a character trait that all parents want to instill in their children
Empathy - it’s a character trait that all parents want to instill in their children. The exact definition of empathy is “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” For a young child this can be a difficult concept to grasp.
As a parent I can wholeheartedly say it’s not always easy to stay calm during the midst of a child’s meltdown however, when I see my daughters or students struggling and in turn, acting out, I remind myself to pause and acknowledge their feelings before doing anything.
Right now my youngest is working on breaking the habit of sucking her thumb. Breaking any habit is hard, especially one you’ve had since utero! There is a mind-body connection associated with thumb sucking and breaking this habit is bringing up a lot of feelings for her that result in anxiety, clinginess, and big (really big) outburts! I make a point to remind her often that I know breaking habits is so hard and the feelings she is having are normal - and I have them too (specific to anxiety - not thumb sucking) We talk about the feelings we have in our tummy (we call them Tummy Bubbles) and think of ways we can pop the bubbles together. Validating her feelings and showing her that I see her, and hear her, even amongst her outbursts, are ways I can lay the groundwork for her to practice empathy with others.
As the saying goes,,children don’t listen to what we say they listen to what we do. It makes sense then that the most effective way to nurture empathy within our children is to practice it ourselves, especially when it comes to navigating our children’s “Big” feelings.
Interview with Bright Horizons
Q&A on the topic of empathy with Ellie Barrios, center director at Bright Horizons
Ellie Berrios, Center Director at Bright Horizons in New York City
Lauren: Hi, Ellie, thank you so much for speaking with me today. Ellie Berrios is the Center Director at Bright Horizons, in New York City's West Village. Today, Ellie and I are speaking about empathy. Ellie, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today. Can you speak to your overall philosophy on empathy in relation to children?
Ellie: An overall philosophy would definitely have to include the ability to model empathy within ourselves. When it comes to working with children, we have to be able to create the type of environment in our classrooms that actually feels peaceful. Within our centers and classrooms we make decisions that impact those experiences for children that are really young, which can consciously and unconsciously pass empathy on to them.
Lauren: I often say that children don’t listen to what we say; they listen to what we do. So, I wholeheartedly agree with you. Can you train for empathy?
Ellie: We can train staff to see empathy from the beginning stages of life, and how modeling that and having the compassion in our classrooms is definitely a way we teach young children. I think most people and especially teachers in this field, have to have some form of empathy. I don't think anyone would get into the field of working with children if they didn't have some little form of empathy.
Lauren: The modeling from the adults that we surround ourselves with at a young age is a huge factor. What advice can you share for parents who want their children to cultivate empathy?
Ellie: It’s going start with them. Growing up, empathy starts with our families and at home. Some of the best ways for parents to cultivate empathy would be modeling it. Modeling is going to come up a lot, because how do you teach a feeling? How do you teach someone to show feelings? It's how we're expressing it verbally and with our body language. For the parents at our centers, we consistently communicate these methods, especially for children under five, and how we react to different things.
Lauren: Yes, children definitely follow by example. When it comes to movement and mindfulness, how can yoga helps empathy?
Ellie: During our initial 2020 quarantine, where everybody was pretty much on lockdown from March through the summer, yoga became part of my strategy for coping with stress and uncertainties that I was facing. I would get very anxious and I would have panic attacks, so I searched online for different methods of easy yoga. I'm a beginner and a lot of my issues had to do with deep breathing. The relaxing body movements and breathing really helped me have a different feeling about things going on and I was able to center and focus on my feelings.
Lauren: Yes! I often say in our classes that if there's one thing that I want kids to know, even as young as two, it's that how you breathe can change how you feel. Do you have a favorite meditation or mindfulness practice for yourself or one that you’ve found works well with children?
Ellie: For me, one mindful practice that I have for myself is to treat others how you want to be treated. I always think that giving that type of energy to other creates a mindset that it will be returned. As I grew into an educator, I really focus on respecting children. There's no way you can you can work with kids if you don't have a level of respect for them and where they are in their lives.
Lauren: Totally. I just lead a baby yoga training this weekend one of the first things I said was even that even if babies can't talk to us, they are their own individual and we respect them as such. As an educator for the past 16 years can you offer teachers ways to incorporate the idea of empathy into their classroom?
Ellie: During my 16 years with Bright Horizons, our centers and company leaders have encouraged, within our curriculum, to consider the whole child. We offer a well-rounded curriculum that offers many benefits beyond school readiness. We Include things like controlling our impulses, imagination, creativity, learning to work with others, how to ask questions, especially if they're in doubt. These skills are essential for building empathetic adults.
Lauren: I love that you’re saying that whole child because that's Yogi Beans’ philosophy too. Like you said, it's never too early. As children get older, schools tend to focus solely on linguistic and mathematical intelligence and there's so much more to a child than that. Interestingly enough, we starting working with Bright Horizon’s years ago when kids’ yoga was not as popular. Bright Horizon’s was still offering the practice, which really highlights that overarching philosophy. So, again, this is kind of a big question - Where do you think we're at with empathy on a societal level?
Ellie: I think while we continue to make progress every day towards an empathetic society, we still have a long way to go. We have to make a conscious effort to practice and cultivate empathy – every single day. Empathy is needed now more than ever! One of the best ways that we can encourage empathy on a societal level is to model it.
Lauren: The world has definitely changed. What do you imagine would happen if we don’t develop empathy?
Ellie: If we don’t cultivate empathy we will move towards a less understanding society, which will make it much harder to work through times of distress.
Lauren: Is there anything else you want to share about empathy related to children and cultivating empathy in their lives, whether it's at home or in the classroom?
Ellie: Ultimately, I believe that empathy is one of the most important skills to teach children today. It's a skill that will be beneficial throughout their entire life and it helps us to create a society that is supportive of one another. The best way for children to learn empathy is to see it in every day interactions and for us to have conversations with them about why it's important.
Lauren: Yes. I agree that fostering empathy in our children and students is definitely one of the most important life skills we can teach them. Ellie, thank you so much for sharing your time, voice and knowledge with us! I appreciate it greatly.
Destigmatize getting help
California is the latest to add a mental health curriculum requirement in K-12
Mental health curriculum mandates seek to destigmatize getting help
California is the latest to add a mental health curriculum requirement in K-12 to help address the ongoing youth mental health crisis.
Read Full Article, K12 Dive
The 'I CAN' can
Yoga poses that activate your power center. Solar Plexus house our Third Chakra
Replace “I Can’t’ with confidence building affirmations.
I remember when I was a child my parents had this product called the I CAN Can. It was a black can about the size of a coffee can and Inside were little cards with positive affirmation that turned I can’t statements into I can. Through the use of language we can empower our children and students to change their thoughts. Our thoughts create the energy that we put out into the world. When we learn to change our thoughts we begin to see ourselves and the life around us change. One of my favorite sayings is below
Watch your thoughts. They become words. Watch your words. They become deeds. Watch your deeds. They become habits. Watch your habits. They become character. Character is everything.
Below are a few examples of statements that can help inspire your child to think and feel self-confident and worthy.
You’ve got this: Your vote of confidence can inspire them with the extra boost they need
I’ve got you: Knowing someone has your back even if you fall is extremely comforting and important no matter what your age.
You can do hard things: This direct phrase acknowledges that things can be hard and they are capable of doing hard things
Mistakes Happen: Mistakes are inevitable and happen to everyone. It’s the lesson we learn from the mistake that matters most.
You must be so proud of yourself! Rather than telling your child you are proud of them switch up the semantics and let their pride come from within
Power center activation
Our Solar Plexus house our Third Chakra. This is the location of our power center
Yoga Poses that activate your power center
Our Solar Plexus houses our 3rd Chakra - Manipura chakra. Manipura chakra is where our power and self–confidence manifest. The qualities of Manipura are self-esteem, power, gut feelings, ego, and confidence. It’s no surprise that Joseph Pilates referred to this area as our Powerhouse. A strong core can help us stand up tall with confidence, grace and ease.
3 A few poses that can activate our powercenter are below:
Boat Pose: Balance on your bottom and slowly lift your arms and legs into the air making a “V” position. Now make a sailboat by extending one arm straight up into the air and the other arm straight in front of you. Try switching your "sails" and hold the pose for three breaths. You can also turn your pose into a “Shipwreck” by starting in Boat pose and bringing your knees to one side as if you were in a reclining twist. Children can bend their legs for an easier alternative.
Plank Pose: Begin in Downward Facing Dog pose. Come onto the balls of your feet and slowly float forward until your body is in a straight line. Keep your shoulders over your wrists and your bellybutton pulled into your spine. Look out for children who are swaying their lower back. Encourage them to use their stomach muscles to hold a straight line.
Arm Pressure Balance: Arm Pressure Pose (Bhujapidasana). Start in Squat pose. Plant your hands in front of you on the floor and make sure your whole hand is flat. Next, take your hands underneath your bottom and plant them on the pinky toe sides of your feet. Make sure your fingers are facing forwards as best you can. Use your belly muscles and slowly shift your body weight back so that your feet lift up and you are balancing on your hands. For older kids, try to bring your feet together and hook one ankle on top of the other. Then release and switch the hook of the ankles.
Keep your head up high
Our mind stores our thoughts and our body stores our emotions
Our mind stores our thoughts and our body stores our emotions. It’s no surprise that changing the way we hold our body can change how we feel.
A quick and effective way to tap into the frequency of confidence and feel more elevated is to notice our posture. Do we stand with our shoulders slumped over or our head hanging down? Do we cross our arms over our chest and block our heart?
Making simple adjustments to the way we physically carry ourselves has an effect on how we feel internally. In our classes we will cue children to sit tall as if they were wearing a heavy crown on their head - like a Queen or King. When we sit like royalty we begin to feel powerful like the King or Queen that we are. Another posture we take when scared is to block our heart. Instead of crossing our arms over our chest we can take our hands and clasp them behind our back. It’s a more vulnerable position however, it’s one that leads and shows the world you have an open and confident heart.
Another common body posture is to cross our arms over our heart - we especially do this when we want to protect ourselves and close ourselves off. A counter posture to this is to take our arms and cross them behind our back. When we do this our body language says we are confident, ready and open for whatever is in front of us! If bringing your hands behind your back is uncomfortable you can also try placing your hands on your hips (ala Peter Pan!)
A fun way to help kids express a more confident body posture is to ask them to put their body into the position of the letter X or Y. Both of these positions are open and bold and exude a feeling of pride and accomplishment. (think of a gymnast in the Olympics after they compete with their arms in the air in a Y position!). You can create a game of X* Y Freeze dance and instead of calling out Freeze, call out the letter X or Y and ask your students and have them freeze in that position. Ask them to notice how they feel in each position. The mind-body connection is powerful, accessible and plays a major role in influencing how we think and feel. It’s a wonderful gift as a teacher to help children tap into this concept at a young age.
Cultivating creativity
Q&A on the topic of creativity with Alicia Albright, a Broadway performer
Alicia Albright
Lauren: I'm with Alicia Albright, Broadway performer, past Yogi Bean's instructor, a mermaid and all around incredible person. And I'm just going to be asking you some questions on creativity. Thank you, Alicia, for agreeing to participate in our first Bean Spot Q&A. Our theme for this month is creativity. What is your overall philosophy on creativity?
Alicia: One way I was thinking about this is that adventure and creativity are in the same vein for me. When I get stuck in a rut or I'm not feeling very creative, or very open, if I take myself on a little adventure, even if it's walking a different path to the train, if I look at it like an adventure, adventure opens up to creativity because suddenly I'm seeing things with fresh eyes and my mind opens which makes me feel more creative. I guess you could say, my creative philosophy, is simply about opening yourself up to what's already there.
Lauren: How do you personally create creativity in your life?
Alicia: Adventuring is definitely a strategy. It’s also about staying open and curious
If I’m feeling really blocked, about creating a class, or a dance piece, or a character or anything, it's taking the time to acknowledge that and remember that feeling is okay. I've been developing a practice of, it's okay, to feel frustrated, it's okay to feel blocked. Because when I allow myself to feel it, it lifts. When it lifts I am in the flow again and I have ideas.
There is also setting up the space for creativity to happen. I'm not a really good painter, but I love it. Because of everything in the pandemic I was feeling very uncreative so I gathered with my husband and a few friends via zoom and I offered some yoga and intention setting and my friend had us create a craft piece. While making this arts and crafts piece I felt like a kid again! We were playing and dancing and I hadn't felt that excited and creative in so long! So we started to do nights where we would put on Harry Potter's, or something that makes me feel fun and childlike and then we would just create things, so we would set up the space for that creativity to be present.
Lauren: I love that! The words that you said just like flow, play, openness, those are all conduits for creativity. So 1000% yes to all that. So now, this is an interesting question - Can you train for creativity?
Alicia: It's a double edged situation. I think of creativity as being something that is inherent within all of us and it’s about uncovering and releasing it. Yet, there is training to master certain forms of creativity, like, there's mastery of dance, there's mastery of painting etc.. if you are a creative for a living, like a choreographer for a show, there is a level of training to help hone the mind and know yourself better in that capacity.
Lauren: Right! You don’t have to train to get it as it’s already within you. It depends on how you want to use it and if you want to master your craft you have to train for that.
Alicia: Also knowing that creativity doesn't have to be mastered because everyone has it. It could be as simple as playing in the yard with your friends or your children, or a dog and creating a story and the adventure you're going on in the backyard is a complete masterpiece of creativity and it’s just creating the space to be open.
Lauren: Very True! Space and to be open are essential. What advice can you share for parents who want to create more creativity in their children's lives?
Alicia: I think the magic sauce is parents giving themselves permission to be creative. I think when parents just want the kids to do it, they're like, well, that's not for me. It's just for the kids and creativity is for everyone and then you are leading by example.
Lauren: Like in our class, when the child sees the parent playing along, they're more apt to then participate.
Alicia: Exactly. I think parents have to model the behavior and do it for themselves and then children follow by example. You can read all the articles on creativity and google “what creative thing can I do for my kid today?” However there is a bigger shift when you allow yourself to make space, for example, an evening to make an arts and crafts piece as a family it's joyful and it’s bonding. Parents have to model the behavior and do it for themselves as well and then it and then there is a bigger shift.
Lauren: Absolutely. I absolutely agree with you. Children don’t listen to what we say they listen to what we do!
Alicia: And being authentic in your journey. You may feel “I don't feel like a creative person - I'm a banker.” That's okay. Take the pressure off. Creativity doesn't have to have an end goal.
Lauren: Yes, that's so important. That's so important. It's about the process and the journey, not about, like we said before, mastering or having some end result.
Alicia: Yes, it makes it more fun when we take off the pressure. So it's this practice. I Like how in Yogi Beans we say it's a practice, not a perfect!
Lauren: We say that a lot. It is really for a lot of things, not just yoga.
Alicia: I use it! My favorite thing that I haven't told you, that I always use from Yogi beans, is I tap my heart light.
Lauren: Oh my god! I just did a post about heartlight! Isn’t the heartlight the best!
Alicia: It's my favorite. I brought it to the stage. I remind myself that the most important thing about me is my heart. I am a dancer on Broadway and I can still get really insecure when I understudy a role but the most important thing is my heart. You can see it when I let it come out, so I tap my heartlight, for every audition, for every performance, to remind myself, that's the most important part of me. It’s not what I look like, not what I sound like, not how I dance. It's my being that makes me special. And everyone's heartlight is unique like a snowflake. I can get blocked with creativity or creating a dance, I can get really scared and when I tap my heart light, it reminds me what matters most is that it comes from my heart.
Lauren: That is so beautiful. I have chills. It’s a frequency. You can feel it when the heart-light is turned on.
Alicia: You can, yes. When I teach children’s theater or mindfulness classes, I'll say, you know when you can’t take your eyes off someone and you don’t know why - they have that special sauce - it’s because it’s coming from their heart. They are fully expressing themselves.
Lauren: When it comes to movement and mindfulness how does yoga help creativity?
Alicia: Yoga is yoking that connection between movement and mindfulness which is extra juicy for me. For me, dance is a sacred thing and it can easily become something that I'm trying to perfect. It can become too much in my mind or too much of trying to be a certain way. When I add that element of mindfulness, like with yoga, it's that sacred, beautiful combination of mind, heart and spirit through movement. Which is why I think it's so special to be able to bring it to people, humans of any age. When I used to say I would teach kids that are 1.5 years old people would say “Yeah, right.” And I’m thinking, it's so special to get to give them that gift starting so young.
Lauren: I 100% agree. When I first started teaching kids in 2007 people thought it was a gimmick. I always thought why wait! If I had been introduced to yoga when I was younger I believe would have understood myself so much better. Do you have a favorite movement to share creativity with kids?
Alicia: One that makes me giggle, especially when I'm teaching a Me & My Bean class is Malasana which is squat pose, which we do as a chicken laying an egg. I think it’s so funny especially, because parents, it's hard for them at first, and then it makes me giggle because I'm like, “let's go get on board with the chicken” and they do it! You have to let go of yourself.
I also really love the calming practices of breathwork with movement and how that helps, even at a young age, with big feelings such as being scared or feeling anxious. No matter how old you are the effects of breathwork are profound for people of any age.
Lauren: Yes ! The breath work and all of the calming activities help create the space and the openness that's needed for creativity to flow. How do you think teachers incorporate the idea of creativity into the classroom?
Alicia: I believe being in more communication with the kids and having an understanding of what they want and how they think. Creativity is letting them guide an activity. Instead of having the goal of we're going to draw this painting and then get graded for it, allow it to be an experience. Even saying that, I think, no wonder we have all these walls up against creativity. We think our creativity is judged, or graded, instead of it being an experience. I would suggest finding ways to create the space for things to open up without a goal. It’s more about having the adventure or experience of creativity without being attached to it.
Lauren: Yes. That’s beautiful. I always think of creativity. It's not linear. You know, you don't know where it's gonna, where it's going to go or how it's gonna turn out.
Alicia: As a kid I would love to have had the opportunity to make bad art. So you think, today the goal is it’s going to be ugly. So at a young age we can take the lid off what it needs to look like.
Lauren: Yes! That is so freeing. So this is kind of an esoteric question, on a societal level, where are we at with creativity and what areas of our life do we need to think about creativity as a culture?
Alicia: Yeah, that's a vast question. I think as adults in general, we close off our creativity and when we do that we aren’t creative on how to connect when there's problems.
Lauren: That leads me to my next question - what happens when we don’t develop creativity in our life?
Alicia: There's so much division right now. There is this side and that side and we get really stuck in our ways of thinking - that person's wrong, and I'm right. In a way, we've lost the creativity of thinking. Maybe they're not so wrong, and maybe I'm not so perfect and - they're still human beings. While I don't agree with their opinion, how do we as humans still connect. It’s creativity, that has to help us have that imagination of - maybe this isn't the whole story.
Lauren: Oh, that's so beautiful. It reminds me of what we just said about creativity not being linear.
Alicia: Yes, and creativity is vulnerable and open and it seems like the vibe in the world right now is very closed off . It’s the opposite of opening up that space we've been talking about for creativity. I think when we don't have creativity in a way it creates division, it creates sadness, it creates anger, and it loses possibility. When you're open and allow yourself to be in the unknown, to be vulnerable, to be creative, anything is possible. But when you think you know everything, and you close the door, suddenly life is so limiting.
Lauren: Yes!
Alicia: That's why we learn so much from kids because they haven't closed the doors yet. It's almost like life closes our doors, sadly, from experiences. I feel like kids are still so open and when you work with children you see that they're the wisest, they have so much wisdom in their own way, and creativity and curiosity.
Lauren: That's why I often think that the children are teaching me sometimes more than I'm teaching them! Is there anything else you want to share about creativity?
Alicia: My hope is for people to notice for themselves what opens the lid to their creativity. There are so many recipes. For me, like I said, if I am feeling really stuck I know an adventure will open me up, or moving my body through space. Yet, there are so many recipes of things that can help when we feel blocked or stuck or angry. Another way is to look to the children and study their openness and allow them to stay that way. When we get stuck it can feel like nothing is possible and it just takes a shift in perception. Like Marianne Williamson says, from fear to love. Creativity has no bounds - everything is a creation of something. Everything you look at is a part of creativity and we are creative beings
Lauren: Alicia, thank you so much. I just love listening to you speak. Can you tell people where they can find you?
Alicia: I am @aliciaalbright on IG and Facebook. I have my own project I’ve been working on called feedyoursoulproject.com and until the end of May, maybe longer, I am in Wicked the Musical on Broadway at the Gershwin Theater. I am the Dance Caption/Swing so I am not on stage everyday. It's my job to maintain the creation of the show and I cover 9 roles so at any given moment I could be in the show.
Lauren: Wow! I was recently reading about how the swings and understudies saved Broadway during the Omicron surge!
Alicia: I’m always doing different roles and I find it exciting - like an adventure! Come check out Wicked and live theater and support creators out there in any way because it’s an art form that was hit hard by the pandemic and I hope people realize how important the arts are to us.
Lauren: Yes, we all turned to art - whether films, music, books, we all turned to art during the pandemic. Alicia, always so wonderful to connect with you. Thank you again for taking the time today.
Boredom breeds creativity
A lazy Sunday afternoon ... if you're a parent or caregiver, you know this well.
If you are a parent or caregiver then you’ve definitely been here …
… a lazy Sunday afternoon of relaxation and getting some household chores done. Your kids are in the house and then they utter the two words we have all heard before: “I’m Bored!”
Even with a playroom filled with toys, kids will still bump up against boredom. When my daughters offer up those two words they know my standard response is “good - boredom breeds creativity!”
Boredom requires our children to think outside the box and get creative about ways to entertain themselves. Boredom can also promote independent play, an understanding of their sense of self, and what activities stimulate their interests.
I have also noticed that overstimulation (too much time on a screen or electronic device) can lead to boredom. It is important to give our brains a break from the constant barrage of screens, messaging and games. Below are a few of our tips to help children get out of boredom and into creative flow:
Get Outside! Nature is our playground.. When children play outside their imagination opens and anything becomes possible. A stick can become a wand and a log can become a balance beam!
Implement a Toy Rotation. By putting a few toys away, and rotating your toys every few months, what once was an “old” toy seemingly becomes “new” again.
Put on Music. When my girls are bored I will take out some crayons, markers, and paper and put on their favorite Disney soundtrack. The music elevates the mood and soon enough they are drawing and singing.
Open ended toys
Open-ended toys are our favorite kind of toys. They are the most versatile toys
Open-ended toys are my favorite kind of toys to purchase. They are the most versatile, and in my opinion they last the longest in terms of how many years a child will play with them. Open ended toys are usually simple, non-battery operated and environmentally friendly.
If you are unfamiliar with the term, an open ended toy is not bound to one form of play or another. For example, a board game such as Candyland can only function in one way. While you may change some of the rules, it is still a board game and that is its main function. In contrast, an open-ended toy can be interpreted in any way your mood desires. These are the kind of toys that breed creativity and imagination.
Some of our most favorite open ended toys are below. We’ve linked to them as well so you can check them out for yourself. Perhaps you will consider giving one of these toys for your little one’s next birthday or holiday gift. See where your child’s imagination will take them!
Creativity through clothing
When I teach I can always tell the child whose parents let them dress themselves
I can always tell which child’s parents let them dress themselves! They are usually dressed in some sort of mixed-matched pattern, perhaps a tutu or skirt over pants, or some kind of crazy color combination.
As the mother to two girls, and someone who loves fashion as a form of self-expression herself, I loved choosing outfits for my girls to wear when they were little. However, it wasn’t too long before my daughters decided that they wanted to be in charge of what they wear. In the beginning, it took self-control to keep my mouth shut in order to not try and persuade them to choose what I thought looked best (e.g., “Jules, are you sure you want to wear those hot pink checkered leggings with your orange and red floral print sweater?”)
I know that the child who dresses themselves is seizing an opportunity to express their individuality and creativity through their choice in clothing. Most of the time children are told where to go, what to do, what to eat, etc., so it makes sense that giving them agency to choose what to wear is a form of empowerment and allows them to express themselves in their own unique ways.
Now, I love seeing what my daughters are going to pick out to wear. Their creativity and boldness to express themselves is admirable, and oftentimes their looks are more stylish than anything I could have imagined. If you’re looking for a way to infuse some creativity into your child’s life, ask them to start choosing the outfits they want to wear and you’ll be amazed (and perhaps inspired) by what they come up with!
Take a look at my favorite looks worn by my youngest daughter, Juliette. She often reminds me of a 6 year old Carrie Bradshaw with her mixing and matching of patterns!
Are you over-scheduling kids?
Are you overscheduling? There's a lot that goes into managing a child’s schedule
As a mom to two young girls I know what goes into putting together and managing your child’s schedule. (It’s a lot!) A question I often ask myself is how do I make sure I balance my children’s schedules so amongst school and extra-curricular activities they also have enough time to just “be” - oftentimes it’s the unscheduled moments where a child’s creativity can thrive and they learn what their interests are.
With school ending at 3PM and activities starting anywhere as early as 4PM the afternoons where we have an activity can feel like rush hour. Get home - wash hands - have snack - complete homework- off to activity - come home - eat dinner -bath- relax-off to bed and then start the cycle over again. It is not a pace of life I wish to instill for my girls or myself for that matter!
My girls are 8 and 5 and their interests vary. What’s worked for us is to limit their activities to 2 weekday activities and then piano lessons on the weekends. (The teacher comes to our home which makes it easy!) Once the two activities are chosen that is it for season, Even if the other kids are playing soccer or trying a cooking class and we have a little FOMO we stick with what we chose and don’t add more to the schedule. We also all agreed that when we start something we finish it out for the semester and if we don’t want to continue we take what we learned and move on from it.
I believe the open space we leave in our child’s schedule allows them time to decompress, daydream, and relax, which is so important. Even if I get the occasional “I’m bored” I always remind my girls that boredom breeds creativity. (Ha, that sounds like such a mom thing to say!) By finding balance between the doing and just being we teach our children that life isn’t about rushing or doing what everyone else is doing - rather some of the best moments come from the unscheduled and unstructured spaces in our day.
Protecting youth mental health
Every child’s path to adulthood—reaching developmental and emotional milestones
Every child’s path to adulthood—reaching developmental and emotional milestones, learning healthy social skills, and dealing with problems—is different and difficult. Many face added challenges along the way, often beyond their control. There’s no map, and the road is never straight.
Fun moves for focus
Balancing poses are a great way to foster focus and concentration
Yoga is a mind-body-heart practice so it makes sense that different Yoga Asana’s (Poses) have different effects on our body. Balancing poses are a great way to foster focus and concentration and also help us tune into any imbalances we may have in our bodies. For instance, when doing Tree Pose most people will notice that there is one side of their body that feels more steady.
A simple activity to help kids feel centered and balanced is below. I call it Moving Mountains
Start in Tadasana or Mountain Pose. To make it fun and easy to remember I tell children that Mountains have 4 S’s. They are stable, straight, silent and still. (The silent and still is usually the trickiest for them!) Ask them to place their feet like train tracks (parallel) and feel their feet rooted to the earth.
From here you can explore shifting the gaze upward or closing the eyes and seeing if you can feel balance in your body. You can begin to place with balancing postures by lifting one foot off the ground and then the other. (Everything we do in yoga on one side we do one the other!) Ask them to notice, without any judgement, how each side felt in their body and if any thoughts came up in their mind. Practicing balancing postures is a good lesson in Yoga is a practice not a perfect as well as help us tune into our own Mind-body connection.
Kids yoga benefits
The purpose of this review is to evaluate the effectiveness of yoga for eduction
The purpose of this review is to evaluate the implementation and effectiveness of yoga for the reduction of symptoms of anxiety and depression in youth.
Happy new year!
Wishing everyone sweet new beginnings and a healthy and happy 2022!
Wishing everyone sweet new beginnings and a healthy and happy 2022! Stay turned for exciting new announcements and offerings coming this year. We are most grateful for your involvement in our yoga and wellness programming for kids!