Interview with Bright Horizons

Ellie Berrios, Center Director at Bright Horizons in New York City

Lauren: Hi, Ellie, thank you so much for speaking with me today.  Ellie Berrios is the Center Director at Bright Horizons, in New York City's West Village. Today, Ellie and I are speaking about empathy. Ellie, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.  Can you speak to your overall philosophy on empathy in relation to children? 

Ellie: An overall philosophy would definitely have to include the ability to model empathy within ourselves. When it comes to working with children, we have to be able to create the type of environment in our classrooms that actually feels peaceful. Within our centers and classrooms we make decisions that impact those experiences for children that are really young, which can consciously and unconsciously pass empathy on to them. 

Lauren:  I often say that children don’t listen to what we say; they listen to what we do. So, I wholeheartedly agree with you.  Can you train for empathy?

Ellie:  We can train staff to see empathy from the beginning stages of life, and how modeling that and having the compassion in our classrooms is definitely a way we teach young children. I think most people and especially teachers in this field, have to have some form of empathy. I don't think anyone would get into the field of working with children if they didn't have some little form of empathy.

Lauren:  The modeling from the adults that we surround ourselves with at a young age is a huge factor. What advice can you share for parents who want their children to cultivate empathy? 

Ellie: It’s going start with them. Growing up, empathy starts with our families and at home. Some of the best ways for parents to cultivate empathy would be modeling it. Modeling is going to come up a lot, because how do you teach a feeling? How do you teach someone to show feelings?   It's how we're expressing it verbally and with our body language. For the parents at our centers, we consistently communicate these methods, especially for children under five, and how we react to different things.

Lauren: Yes, children definitely follow by example.  When it comes to movement and mindfulness, how can  yoga helps empathy?

Ellie:  During our initial 2020 quarantine, where everybody was pretty much on lockdown from March through the summer, yoga became part of my strategy for coping with stress and uncertainties that I was facing. I would get very anxious and I would have panic attacks, so I searched online for different methods of easy yoga.  I'm a beginner and a lot of my issues had to do with deep breathing. The relaxing body movements and breathing really helped me have a different feeling about things going on and I was able to center and focus on my feelings.   

Lauren: Yes! I often say in our classes that if there's one thing that I want kids to know, even as young as two, it's that how you breathe can change how you feel.  Do you have a favorite meditation or mindfulness practice for yourself or one that you’ve found works well with children?

Ellie: For me, one mindful practice that I have for myself is to treat others how you want to be treated. I always think that giving that type of energy to other creates a mindset that it will be returned.  As I grew into an educator, I really focus on respecting children. There's no way you can you can work with kids if you don't have a level of respect for them and where they are in their lives.

Lauren: Totally. I just lead a baby yoga training this weekend one of the first things I said was even that even if babies can't talk to us, they are their own individual and we respect them as such. As an educator for the past 16 years can you offer teachers ways to incorporate the idea of empathy into their classroom?

Ellie: During my 16 years with Bright Horizons, our centers and company leaders have encouraged, within our curriculum, to consider the whole child. We offer a well-rounded curriculum that offers many benefits beyond school readiness.  We Include things like controlling our impulses, imagination, creativity, learning to work with others, how to ask questions, especially if they're in doubt. These skills are essential for building empathetic adults. 

Lauren: I love that you’re saying that whole child because that's Yogi Beans’ philosophy too. Like you said, it's never too early.  As children get older, schools tend to focus solely on linguistic and mathematical intelligence and there's so much more to a child than that.  Interestingly enough, we starting working with Bright Horizon’s years ago when kids’ yoga was not as popular.  Bright Horizon’s was still offering the practice, which really highlights that overarching philosophy.  So, again, this is kind of a big question - Where do you think we're at with empathy on a societal level?

Ellie:  I think while we continue to make progress every day towards an empathetic society, we still have a long way to go. We have to make a conscious effort to practice and cultivate empathy – every single day. Empathy is needed now more than ever!  One of the best ways that we can encourage empathy on a societal level is to model it.

Lauren: The world has definitely changed.  What do you imagine would happen if we don’t develop empathy? 

Ellie:  If we don’t cultivate empathy we will move towards a less understanding society, which will make it much harder to work through times of distress. 

Lauren: Is there anything else you want to share about empathy related to children and cultivating empathy in their lives, whether it's at home or in the classroom?

Ellie:  Ultimately, I believe that empathy is one of the most important skills to teach children today. It's a skill that will be beneficial throughout their entire life and it helps us to create a society that is supportive of one another.  The best way for children to learn empathy is to see it in every day interactions and for us to have conversations with them about why it's important.

Lauren: Yes. I agree that fostering empathy in our children and students is definitely one of the most important life skills we can teach them.  Ellie, thank you so much for sharing your time, voice and knowledge with us!  I appreciate it greatly.