Laying the foundation for empathy

Empathy - it’s a character trait that all parents want to instill in their children.  The exact definition of empathy is “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another.” For a young child this can be a difficult concept to grasp.

As a parent I can wholeheartedly say it’s not always easy to stay calm during the midst of a child’s meltdown however, when I see my daughters or students struggling and in turn, acting out,  I remind myself to pause and acknowledge  their feelings before doing anything.

Right now my youngest is working on breaking the habit of sucking her thumb.  Breaking any habit is hard, especially one you’ve had since utero!  There is a mind-body connection associated with thumb sucking and breaking this habit is bringing up a lot of feelings for her that result in anxiety, clinginess, and big (really big) outburts!  I make a point to remind her often that I know breaking habits is so hard and the feelings she is having are normal - and I have them too (specific to anxiety - not thumb sucking)  We talk about the feelings we have in our tummy (we call them Tummy Bubbles) and think of ways we can pop the bubbles together.  Validating her feelings and showing her that I see her, and hear her, even amongst her outbursts, are ways I can lay the groundwork for her to practice empathy with  others.

As the saying goes,,children don’t listen to what we say they listen to what we do.  It makes sense then that the most effective way to nurture empathy within our children is to practice it ourselves, especially when it comes to navigating our children’s “Big” feelings.