Ellie Berrios, Center Director at Bright Horizons in New York City

Lauren: Hi, Ellie, thank you so much for speaking with me today.  Ellie Berrios is the Center Director at Bright Horizons, in New York City's West Village. Today, Ellie and I are speaking about empathy. Ellie, thank you for taking the time to speak with me today.  Can you speak to your overall philosophy on empathy in relation to children? 

Ellie: An overall philosophy would definitely have to include the ability to model empathy within ourselves. When it comes to working with children, we have to be able to create the type of environment in our classrooms that actually feels peaceful. Within our centers and classrooms we make decisions that impact those experiences for children that are really young, which can consciously and unconsciously pass empathy on to them. 

Lauren:  I often say that children don’t listen to what we say; they listen to what we do. So, I wholeheartedly agree with you.  Can you train for empathy?

Ellie:  We can train staff to see empathy from the beginning stages of life, and how modeling that and having the compassion in our classrooms is definitely a way we teach young children. I think most people and especially teachers in this field, have to have some form of empathy. I don't think anyone would get into the field of working with children if they didn't have some little form of empathy.

Lauren:  The modeling from the adults that we surround ourselves with at a young age is a huge factor. What advice can you share for parents who want their children to cultivate empathy? 

Ellie: It’s going start with them. Growing up, empathy starts with our families and at home. Some of the best ways for parents to cultivate empathy would be modeling it. Modeling is going to come up a lot, because how do you teach a feeling? How do you teach someone to show feelings?   It's how we're expressing it verbally and with our body language. For the parents at our centers, we consistently communicate these methods, especially for children under five, and how we react to different things.

Lauren: Yes, children definitely follow by example.  When it comes to movement and mindfulness, how can  yoga helps empathy?

Ellie:  During our initial 2020 quarantine, where everybody was pretty much on lockdown from March through the summer, yoga became part of my strategy for coping with stress and uncertainties that I was facing. I would get very anxious and I would have panic attacks, so I searched online for different methods of easy yoga.  I'm a beginner and a lot of my issues had to do with deep breathing. The relaxing body movements and breathing really helped me have a different feeling about things going on and I was able to center and focus on my feelings.   

Lauren: Yes! I often say in our classes that if there's one thing that I want kids to know, even as young as two, it's that how you breathe can change how you feel.  Do you have a favorite meditation or mindfulness practice for yourself or one that you’ve found works well with children?

Ellie: For me, one mindful practice that I have for myself is to treat others how you want to be treated. I always think that giving that type of energy to other creates a mindset that it will be returned.  As I grew into an educator, I really focus on respecting children. There's no way you can you can work with kids if you don't have a level of respect for them and where they are in their lives.

Lauren: Totally. I just lead a baby yoga training this weekend one of the first things I said was even that even if babies can't talk to us, they are their own individual and we respect them as such. As an educator for the past 16 years can you offer teachers ways to incorporate the idea of empathy into their classroom?

Ellie: During my 16 years with Bright Horizons, our centers and company leaders have encouraged, within our curriculum, to consider the whole child. We offer a well-rounded curriculum that offers many benefits beyond school readiness.  We Include things like controlling our impulses, imagination, creativity, learning to work with others, how to ask questions, especially if they're in doubt. These skills are essential for building empathetic adults. 

Lauren: I love that you’re saying that whole child because that's Yogi Beans’ philosophy too. Like you said, it's never too early.  As children get older, schools tend to focus solely on linguistic and mathematical intelligence and there's so much more to a child than that.  Interestingly enough, we starting working with Bright Horizon’s years ago when kids’ yoga was not as popular.  Bright Horizon’s was still offering the practice, which really highlights that overarching philosophy.  So, again, this is kind of a big question - Where do you think we're at with empathy on a societal level?

Ellie:  I think while we continue to make progress every day towards an empathetic society, we still have a long way to go. We have to make a conscious effort to practice and cultivate empathy – every single day. Empathy is needed now more than ever!  One of the best ways that we can encourage empathy on a societal level is to model it.

Lauren: The world has definitely changed.  What do you imagine would happen if we don’t develop empathy? 

Ellie:  If we don’t cultivate empathy we will move towards a less understanding society, which will make it much harder to work through times of distress. 

Lauren: Is there anything else you want to share about empathy related to children and cultivating empathy in their lives, whether it's at home or in the classroom?

Ellie:  Ultimately, I believe that empathy is one of the most important skills to teach children today. It's a skill that will be beneficial throughout their entire life and it helps us to create a society that is supportive of one another.  The best way for children to learn empathy is to see it in every day interactions and for us to have conversations with them about why it's important.

Lauren: Yes. I agree that fostering empathy in our children and students is definitely one of the most important life skills we can teach them.  Ellie, thank you so much for sharing your time, voice and knowledge with us!  I appreciate it greatly.

Alicia Albright

Lauren:  I'm with Alicia Albright,  Broadway performer, past Yogi Bean's instructor, a mermaid and all around incredible person. And I'm just going to be asking you some questions on creativity. Thank you, Alicia, for agreeing to participate in our first Bean Spot Q&A.  Our theme for this month is creativity.  What is your overall philosophy on creativity?

Alicia:  One way I was thinking about this is that adventure and creativity are in the same vein for me. When I get stuck in a rut or I'm not feeling very creative, or very open, if I take myself on a little adventure, even if it's walking a different path to the train, if I look at it like an adventure, adventure opens up to creativity because suddenly I'm seeing things with fresh eyes and my mind opens which makes me feel more creative.  I guess you could say, my creative philosophy, is simply about opening yourself up to what's already there.

Lauren:   How do you personally create creativity in your life? 

Alicia: Adventuring is definitely a strategy. It’s also about staying open and curious

If I’m feeling really blocked, about creating a class, or a dance piece, or a character or anything, it's taking the time to acknowledge that and remember that feeling is okay. I've been developing a practice of, it's okay, to feel frustrated, it's okay to feel blocked. Because when I allow myself to feel it, it lifts.  When it lifts I am in the flow again and I have ideas.  

There is also setting up the space for creativity to happen. I'm not a really good painter, but I love it. Because of everything in the pandemic I was feeling very uncreative so I gathered with my husband and a few friends via zoom and I offered some yoga and intention setting and my friend had us create a craft piece. While making this arts and crafts piece I felt like a kid again!  We were playing and dancing and I hadn't felt that excited and creative in so long!   So we started to do nights where we would put on Harry Potter's, or something that makes me feel fun and childlike and then we would just create things, so we would set up the space for that creativity to be present. 

Lauren:  I love that! The words that you said just like flow, play, openness, those are all conduits for creativity.  So 1000% yes to all that.   So now, this is an interesting question - Can you train for creativity?

Alicia:  It's a double edged situation. I think of creativity as being something that is inherent within all of us and it’s about uncovering and releasing it. Yet, there is training to master certain forms of creativity, like, there's mastery of dance, there's mastery of painting etc.. if you are a creative for a living, like a choreographer for a show,  there is a level of training to help hone the mind and know yourself better in that capacity.

Lauren:  Right!  You don’t have to train to get it as it’s already within you.  It depends on how you want to use it and if you want to master your craft you have to train for that.  

Alicia: Also knowing that creativity doesn't have to be mastered because everyone has it. It could be as simple as playing in the yard with your friends or your children, or a dog and creating a story and the  adventure you're going on in the backyard is a complete  masterpiece of creativity and it’s just creating the space to be open. 

Lauren: Very True!   Space and to be open are essential.   What advice can you share for parents who want to create more creativity in their children's lives?

Alicia:  I think the magic sauce is parents giving themselves permission to be creative.  I think when parents just want the kids to do it, they're like, well, that's not for me. It's just for the kids and creativity is for everyone and then you are leading by example. 

Lauren: Like in our class, when the child sees the parent playing along, they're more apt to then participate.

Alicia: Exactly.  I think parents have to model the behavior and do it for themselves and then children follow by example. You can read all the articles on creativity and google “what creative thing can I do for my kid today?” However there is a bigger shift when you allow yourself to make space, for example,  an evening to make an arts and crafts piece as a family it's joyful and it’s bonding. Parents have to model the behavior and do it for themselves as well and then it and then there is a bigger shift.

Lauren: Absolutely. I absolutely agree with you. Children don’t listen to what we say they listen to what we do!

Alicia: And being authentic in your journey.  You may feel “I don't feel like a creative person - I'm a banker.”  That's okay.  Take the pressure off. Creativity doesn't have to have an end goal.

Lauren: Yes, that's so important. That's so important. It's about the process and the journey, not about, like we said before, mastering or having some end result. 

Alicia: Yes, it makes it more fun when we take off the pressure.  So it's this practice.  I Like how in Yogi Beans we say it's a practice, not a perfect!

Lauren: We say that a lot. It is really for a lot of things, not just yoga. 

Alicia: I use it! My favorite thing that I haven't told you, that I always use from Yogi beans, is I tap my heart light. 

Lauren:  Oh my god!  I just did a post about heartlight!  Isn’t the heartlight the best! 

Alicia: It's my favorite.  I brought it to the stage. I remind myself that the most important thing about me is my heart.  I am a dancer on Broadway and I can still get really insecure when I understudy a role but the most important thing is my heart.  You can see it  when I let it come out, so I tap my heartlight, for every audition,  for every performance,  to remind myself, that's the most important part of me. It’s not what I look like,  not what I sound like,  not how I dance. It's my being that makes me special.  And everyone's heartlight is unique like a snowflake. I can get blocked with creativity or creating a dance, I can get really scared and when I tap my heart light, it reminds me what matters most is that it comes from my heart.

Lauren: That is so beautiful. I have chills.  It’s a frequency. You can feel it when the heart-light is turned on. 

Alicia: You can, yes. When I teach children’s theater or mindfulness classes, I'll say, you know when you can’t take your eyes off someone and you don’t know why - they have that special sauce  - it’s because it’s coming from their heart.  They are fully expressing themselves. 

Lauren: When it comes to movement and mindfulness how does yoga help creativity?

Alicia: Yoga is yoking that connection between movement and mindfulness which is extra juicy for me.  For me, dance is a sacred thing and it can easily become something that I'm trying to perfect. It can become too much in my mind or too much of trying to be a certain way. When I add that element of mindfulness, like with yoga, it's that sacred, beautiful combination of mind, heart and spirit through movement. Which is why I think it's so special to be able to bring it to people, humans of any age. When I used to say I would teach kids that are 1.5 years old people would say “Yeah, right.” And I’m thinking, it's so special to get to give them that gift starting so young. 

Lauren: I 100% agree. When I first started teaching kids in 2007  people thought it was a gimmick. I always thought why wait! If  I had been introduced to yoga when I was younger I believe would have understood myself so much better.  Do you have a favorite movement to share creativity with kids?

Alicia: One that makes me giggle, especially when I'm teaching a Me & My Bean class is Malasana which is squat pose, which we do as a chicken laying an egg. I think it’s so funny  especially, because parents, it's hard for them at first, and then it makes me giggle because I'm like, “let's go get on board with the chicken”  and they do it!  You have to let go of yourself. 

I also really love the calming practices of breathwork with movement and how that helps, even at a young age, with big feelings such as being scared or feeling anxious.  No matter how old you are the effects of breathwork are profound for people of any age. 

Lauren: Yes !  The breath work and all of the calming activities help create the space and the openness that's needed for creativity to flow.  How do you think teachers incorporate the idea of creativity into the classroom?   

Alicia: I believe being in more communication with the kids and having an understanding of what they want and how they think.  Creativity is letting them guide an activity.  Instead of having the goal of we're going to draw this painting and then get graded for it, allow it to be an experience.  Even saying  that, I think, no wonder we have all these walls up against creativity.  We think our creativity is judged, or graded, instead of it being an experience.  I would suggest finding ways to create the space for things to open up without a goal. It’s more about having the adventure or experience of creativity without being attached to it.  

Lauren: Yes. That’s beautiful.  I always think of creativity. It's not linear. You know, you don't know where it's gonna, where it's going to go or how it's gonna turn out.

Alicia:   As a kid I would love to have had the opportunity to make bad art.  So you think, today the goal is it’s going to be ugly.  So at a young age we can take the lid off what it needs to look like.

Lauren:  Yes!  That is so freeing.  So  this is kind of an esoteric question, on a societal level, where are we at with creativity and what areas of our life do we need to think about creativity as a culture?

Alicia: Yeah, that's a vast question.  I think as adults in general, we close off our creativity and when we do that we aren’t creative on how to connect when there's problems.

Lauren:  That leads me to my next question - what happens when we don’t develop creativity in our life?

Alicia:  There's so much division right now.  There is this side and that side and we get really stuck in our ways of thinking - that person's wrong, and I'm right.  In a way, we've lost the creativity of thinking.  Maybe they're not so wrong, and maybe I'm not so perfect and - they're still human beings. While I don't agree with their opinion, how do we as humans still connect.  It’s creativity, that has to help us have that imagination of - maybe this isn't the whole story.

Lauren:  Oh, that's so beautiful.  It reminds me of what we just said about creativity not being linear. 

Alicia:  Yes, and creativity is vulnerable and open and it seems like the vibe in the world right now is very closed off . It’s the opposite of opening up that space we've been talking about for creativity.   I think when we don't have creativity in a way it creates division, it creates sadness, it creates anger, and it loses possibility.  When you're open and allow yourself to be in the unknown, to be vulnerable, to be creative, anything is possible. But when you think you know everything, and you close the door, suddenly life is so limiting.

Lauren: Yes!

Alicia: That's why we learn so much from kids because they haven't closed the doors yet. It's almost like life closes our doors, sadly, from experiences.  I feel like kids are still so open and when you work with children you see that they're the wisest, they have so much wisdom in their own way, and creativity and curiosity. 

Lauren:  That's why I often think that the children are teaching me sometimes more than I'm teaching them!   Is there anything else you want to share about creativity?

Alicia: My hope is for people to notice for themselves what opens the lid to their creativity.  There are so many recipes.  For me, like I said,  if I am feeling really stuck I know an adventure will open me up, or moving my body through space.  Yet, there are so many recipes of things that can help when we feel blocked or stuck or angry.  Another way is to look to the children and study their openness and allow them to stay that way.  When we get stuck it can feel like nothing is possible and it just takes a shift in perception.  Like Marianne Williamson says, from fear to love. Creativity has no  bounds - everything is a creation of something.  Everything you look at is a part of creativity and we are creative beings

Lauren: Alicia,  thank you so much. I just love listening to you speak. Can you tell people where they can find you?

Alicia: I am @aliciaalbright on IG and Facebook. I have my own project I’ve been working on called feedyoursoulproject.com and until the end of May, maybe longer, I am in Wicked the Musical on Broadway at the Gershwin Theater.  I am the Dance Caption/Swing so I am not on stage everyday. It's my job to maintain the creation of the show and I cover 9 roles so at any given moment I could be in the show. 

Lauren:  Wow! I was recently reading about how the swings and understudies saved Broadway during the Omicron surge!  

Alicia:  I’m always doing different roles and I find it exciting - like an adventure!  Come check out Wicked and live theater and support creators out there in any way because it’s an art form that was hit hard by the pandemic and I hope people realize how important the arts are to us.

Lauren: Yes, we all turned to art - whether films, music, books, we all turned to art during the pandemic.  Alicia, always so wonderful to connect with you. Thank you again for taking the time today.

If you are a parent or caregiver then you’ve definitely been here …

… a lazy Sunday afternoon of relaxation and getting some household chores done. Your kids are in the house and then they utter the two words we have all heard before:  “I’m Bored!”

Even with a playroom filled with toys, kids will still bump up against boredom.  When my daughters offer up those two words they know my standard response is “good - boredom breeds creativity!”

Boredom requires our children to think outside the box and get creative about ways to entertain themselves.  Boredom can also promote independent play, an understanding of their sense of self, and what activities stimulate their interests.

I have also noticed that overstimulation (too much time on a screen or electronic device) can lead to boredom.  It is important to give our brains a break from the constant barrage of screens, messaging and games.   Below are a few of our tips to help children get out of boredom and into creative flow:

1. Get Outside!  Nature is our playground..  When children play outside their imagination opens and anything becomes possible.   A stick can become a wand and a log can become a balance beam!

2.  Implement a Toy Rotation.  By putting a few toys away, and rotating your toys every few months, what once was an “old” toy seemingly becomes “new” again.

3. Put on Music.  When my girls are bored I will take out some crayons, markers, and paper and put on their favorite Disney soundtrack.  The music elevates the mood and soon enough they are drawing and singing. 

Open-ended toys are my favorite kind of toys to purchase.  They are the most versatile, and in my opinion they last the longest in terms of how many years a child will play with them.  Open ended toys are usually simple, non-battery operated and environmentally friendly.

If you are unfamiliar with the term, an open ended toy is not bound to one form of play or another.  For example, a board game such as Candyland can only function in one way.  While you may change some of the rules, it is still a board game and that is its main function.  In contrast, an open-ended toy can be interpreted in any way your mood desires.  These are the kind of toys that breed creativity and imagination.

Some of our most favorite open ended toys are below.  We’ve linked to them as well so you can check them out for yourself.  Perhaps you will consider giving one of these toys for your little one’s next birthday or holiday gift. See where your child’s imagination will take them!

Bilibo

Sarah’s Silks

Wavee Board

Grimms Rainbow Stackers

Grimms Wood Peg Dolls 

Magna Tiles

Tegu Blocks 

I can always tell which child’s parents let them dress themselves!  They are usually dressed in some sort of mixed-matched pattern, perhaps a tutu or skirt over pants, or some kind of crazy color combination.

As the mother to two girls, and someone who loves fashion as a form of self-expression herself,  I loved choosing outfits for my girls  to wear when they were little.  However, it wasn’t too long before my daughters decided that they wanted to be in charge of what they wear.   In the beginning, it took self-control to keep my mouth shut in order to not try and persuade them to choose what I thought looked best (e.g., “Jules, are you sure you want to wear those hot pink checkered leggings with your orange and red floral print sweater?”)

I know that the child who dresses themselves is seizing an opportunity to express their individuality and creativity through their choice in clothing.  Most of the time children are told where to go, what to do, what to eat, etc., so it makes sense that giving them agency to choose what to wear is a form of empowerment and allows them to express themselves in their own unique ways.

Now, I love seeing what my daughters are going to pick out to wear. Their creativity and boldness to express themselves is admirable, and oftentimes their looks are more stylish than anything I could have imagined.  If you’re looking for a way to infuse some creativity into your child’s life, ask them to start choosing the outfits they want to wear and you’ll be amazed (and perhaps inspired) by what they come up with!

Take a look at my favorite looks worn by my youngest daughter, Juliette. She often reminds me of a 6 year old Carrie Bradshaw with her mixing and matching of patterns!