Raising a resilient child

Raising a Resilient Child

In this month’s Bean Spot, we have been focusing on the value of resilience and what that means in relation to children. Resilience is the power to “bounce back” when you’ve experienced disappointment. We break down resilience in what resilience is, why raising a resilient child is important, and how adults and caregivers can foster resilience in children.

What is Resilience?

Resilience can help us break through and overcome obstacles. Resilience is built over time through our experiences and is the ability to cope with whatever life throws at you. A resilient child can acknowledge a situation, learn from their mistakes, and cultivate the grit to move forward. Resilience gives children the strength to process obstacles and overcome hardship.

Why is raising a resilient child important?

Children who develop resilience can not only pull through when they have a setback but can look at their setbacks as opportunities for growth. This opportunity for growth helps children move forward through the obstacle they are facing. Resilience grows as children are faced with each new challenge.

How can you foster and build resilience in children?

Resilience can grow over time, as children (or adults!) face obstacles. One place to start in helping your child build resilience is by providing reassurance when faced with a challenge.

My daughter practices piano, and if she is practicing a challenging or a hard piece, she can get really frustrated and stop what she’s doing. I know that she wants to stop but what she needs is to build the resilience to move forward. As her parent, I know that she can overcome this obstacle, but it’s giving her the tools to grow and challenge herself. I acknowledge her feeling and validate her emotions.

Then, to help our children cultivate resilience, we can start by asking our children how we can reframe our emotion. When we have an emotion that doesn’t feel good (frustration) it’s important for us as parents to hold space for that frustration. We can help our children practice thought awareness and acknowledge if the setback is surrounded by negative or positive thoughts. We can then begin to teach them to listen to how they talk to themselves when they feel frustrated. They can restructure their thought process when faced with a negative situation or bad event.  We can help them cultivate a growth mindset by acknowledging that right nowit feels challenging or hard. You’re not there yet and that’s okay.